I Chose My Sister Than My Lover

She held his hand so tight and they both cried. The pang of pain reigning in their hearts is too much to bear. They both know it is both for their own good and that they have to sacrifice.

"Feona, please do always take good care of yourself. We can make this through. You will always be someone dear to me."

"But Carlo, I just can't let you go like this. It's too much. You are someone worth keeping."

"Shhhh. Feona. I know that. We've talk about that a while ago."

Carlo then gave Feona the tightest hug in the world a guy can give and kissed her in the forehead. He knew someday, their paths will cross again. He knew that they deserve far better than the situation they have right now.

Two years ago, Feona's family moved in a small town named Lilaville. There she met an active, bubbly, friendly guy named Carlo. Carlo was very warm to hear. At that time, they were still in their high school years. Feona in her junior year while Carlo is on his senior year. They both enjoyed each other's company not until..

"Feona, I have something to confess to you. Please don't tell anyone about this especially to the guy. Promise?", Shaira, her younger sister of one year whispered to her.

"Hush. I won't. Ate promises. Okay?" She replied.

"Ate, I really like Carlo. He makes me happy and everytime I see him smile, my heart leaps with joy!" Shaira shared with excitement.

Feona didn't know how to react. She knows the very fact that Carlo is attracted to her and is already planning of courting her but her little sister, her concern is she will first experience her heart being broken.

"Shaira, you are still very young for that. Focus on your studies first."

"But Ate, Carlo is my dream guy. He makes me happy without him knowing it."

"Shai, please listen to me. It's now time to sleep and stop thinking about Carlo now, okay?"

Feona was very bothered that night. The thought made her super sad most especially the concern is towards her little sister.

Weeks later...

"Ate! Ate! Where are you? My head aches so bad!" Shaira exclaimed with great pain.

"Shai! I am coming. My goodness. Don't roll on the floor. Here, take my hand. We'll go to the hospital."

They head to the nearest community hospital and Carlo was there to assist them. Both parents were in US and the ones left with them are their relatives which are on vacation.

"Shaira, we will wait for the diagnosis. We will not leave you, okay? Feel better." Carlo stroked her hair and assured her. Shaira painted a little smile in her face upon gazing his presence. Feona knows that Carlo alone would make Shaira feel better and she is happy about it.

"Miss Feona Lopez, I need to talk to you and discuss important matters. Go with me outside." The doctor commanded her to follow her outside the room for instructions.

"Miss Lopez, I am afraid to say that your sister has a brain cancer. It is now on malignant stage. We cannot cater the needs of her sickness, she needs to be brought to the US. We have contacted your parents already and they feel so sorry. They are now processing your trip to US for medical treatment and probably, you might live there. So here, your mother gave me this number. Call her ASAP."

Feona was dead shocked by what she has just heard. She couldn't believe each word the doctor is saying. She felt as if the happenings were way too fast and she could not grasp the idea of living forever in US. She wants to cry yet she has to remain strong for Shaira. She feels sorry for their situation.

"Shaira, Mom gave this number to the doctor. We have to call her. And Shai, don't be shocked. We will be leaving for US ASAP. The hospital in our country cannot cater your needs. We need to seek the doctors help in the US. Stay strong Shai. I love you!"

Feona hugged her sister so tight and kissed her left hand. She doesn't know how to act okay in front of her and most especially to Carlo. He was very disappointed and sad. He was shocked and his eyes were melancholic.

After one week, they finally had their tickets for US..

"Carlo, please let us not make this hard. I love you but I love my sister more."

"But Feona, she will understand. She knows right from the start I just treat her like a little sister."

What they didn't know is that Shaira was behind them watching them cry and expressing each other's sentiments. Shaira was crying deeply inside that to the point that she could no longer contain it and suddenly, her head ached again, she fainted and collapsed.

"Shaaaaaaira! Oh Lord, please. I am so sorry. Carlo, help me. She is bleeding!"

Carlo then called the ambulance and brought Shaira to the hospital. She was bleeding massively and is also emotionally drained. The doctor said her condition is getting ill. She needs to feel being loved and taken cared of by that one person she adores in order for her to have strength and the answer for that is---Carlo.

"Feona, I just can't do it. It's way too hard to fake my feelings. I love you so much Shaira and I will marry you."

"Carlo, I know this is very painful but this will prolong my sister's life. Help me please. I am begging you."

One week after, the three of them went to US. After two weeks, Shaira and Carlo got married. Shaira's condition got better and better and Feona was happy about it but deep inside very sad. Every night, she cries herself out and asks God why He didn't give Carlo for him. Not until one day...

(TO BE CONTINUED)

With Love, Milk Tea

Sitting all alone with my milk tea

Feeling like there's no tomorrow

I wanna feel your presence

To delight me in my loneliness.

Time passes by so slow

I wish I could freeze it somehow

I am not used to being so lonely

That is why I need you so badly.

Oh babe, I have been munching here like the world's gonna end

Still waiting for your real presence

Why are you so far to me in the first place?

Being next to you is all I ever wanted.

The way you stare at me

The way you hug me

The way you kiss me

The way you hold my hand

You always thrill me like no one can.

Oh when will I ever see you again my prince?

I miss you and that's what my heart says.

I am now becoming poetic

All these reigning feelings I can't contain

It feels like I would burst if I will not release them

Somehow, I do hope you also feel the same.

I love you and your past.

I am willing to fight until we both will last

Love is not a sprint but rather than a marathon

Therefore we must continuously nurture it with love, patience, trust and understanding.

I love you and your present.

Oh how I love to see you enjoying the kind of life you are living.

Letting me enter into your life is such a big thing

I would like to cherish everything.

I love you and your future.

You always tease me about marriage and stuff

And you know that it makes me awkward.

Yet you always assure me of the future

That your mind has been set that it will be forever you and me.

Now, I take the last sip of my milk tea

Thoughts of you still entertain my brain

I can truly picture out if you were here with me

Making happy memories effortlessly. 

How Far Is Too Far? Lies Teenagers Say About SEX.

Buzz! It's been a while that I had my last blog entry. My brain took a long rest or perhaps, I was just lazy encoding and writing my thoughts. But series of events happened to me lately which urged me to move into action and bring awareness to the teens nowadays. Yes, it did alarm me because I am also a teen and it makes me so sad that teenagers have distorted beliefs and they're trying to deny the reality.

PMS or pre-marital sex, ask a bunch of guys on what word they can associate to it and I am pretty sure you won't get shocked upon hearing them say, "Lami!". That four-letter word is the closest and the most appropriate word to describe sex, friends I have interviewed said. Let's face it, we all have different kinds of needs. Our body needs food, we need to socialize and interact with the people around us, we need to have spirituality, we need to be educated, and lastly, there's a need for a physical contact or rather, the feeling of intimacy. I believe that those core needs must be met first before going to the last need but I bet, most teenagers who have been doing the deed won't agree with me. Now why? Their answer would be simple. The last need fulfilled all the kind of needs they have. The thought really scares me. What kind of mindset does the youth of today has? 

I won't deny the fact that I, myself knows many things about sex, making love or any thing associated to it but I am confident enough to say that because of the knowledge I gained, I am fully aware that I should not engage in to it. If teens say they do it out of curiousity, what would be the best response? I say, you don't have to smoke just to know it's effects, you don't have to drink to it's after effects and same as saying, you don't have to try PMS just to know how it feels. Trying PMS won't even answer your curiousity, it will only lead you to becoming more and more curious and the more curious you are, the more you want to do it. 

Now why am I against for PMS? The answer would also be simple. I believe that there is a time for it. The "pre" means "before" now why do it ahead when there is really a perfect time to do it and not just for the sake of doing it, but doing it with love and with the blessing of the Lord? When my friends shared to me their experiences, on how they were so thrilled upong doing it, the pleasure and the fun they are getting, it made me even more proud of myself that I am still a vrigin. I have talked to lots of guy friends, you know what's the common denominator? They do it just for the sake of doing it. Some use girls, even their friends just to fulfill their sexual needs. Some just met bitchy girls at bars and right there and then, give the lead. But, ask me what is their verdict and most of them said, "They still want to marry that pure girl in the future."  Isn't that a sad thing? For in the end, it would always be a girl's loss. Poor us, really.

So the fuzz, how far is too far? 

Is that a valid question to ask? In a world where sex is seen in every medium and condoms are being handed out in schools, what is a Christian teen to do when confronted with conflicting advice about what constitutes a sexual activity or abstinence? Here are the top 10 lies Christian teens tell themselves when it comes to answering the question, “How far is too far?”

1. Everybody Does It

Everybody? No. Not everybody is having sex. While the media and people in school may make it seem like everyone is having sex, there are just as many Christian teens (and non-Christians, too) waiting until marriage. Doing something just because everyone else is doing it is just giving into peer pressure. It takes a stronger person, or a person backed up by the strength of God, to resist temptation. When you stand up to peer pressure you are actually saving yourself from committing sin while being a good Christian witness to other teens around you.

2. It’s No Big Deal

Sex is a big deal. Ask any Christian teen who struggles with having had sex before. There are a lot of emotions and spiritual struggles that come from having had sex outside of marriage. It is one of the reasons God placed such an emphasis on sex and relationships in the Bible. Sex is a beautiful act that comes out of the marriage covenant, and it means more than just an action.

3. Virginity is a State of Mind

Some people use the term “technical virgin” when describing their sexual status. Usually this means that the person has not had a sexual act that involved penetration. Virginity is more than that. Virginity is not a state of mind, but it is the conscious choice to not involve oneself in sexual acts until after marriage. Usually this excuse is used if someone wants to justify participating in sexual activity.

4. Sex and Love are the Same Thing

Sex and love are very different, but they are meant to complement one another. If you are in love it does not mean you should have sex. Sex is an act. Love is an emotion. They are very different, and it can be dangerous to mix them up. You should never feel like you have to have sex with someone just because you want to show them you love them. There are plenty of non-sexual ways to show your love to someone.

5. Sex is a Minor Sin

Pre-marital sex is sin. Sin is sin. However, it is dangerous to think that sex is a minor or equal sin to all others, because it can put you in a frame of mind to make bad choices. Sexual sin is still a defiance of God, and no sin is acceptable to God. Yes, you can be forgiven, but you will have to live with the sin you have committed, which can be difficult if you are not prepared to deal with sex emotionally.

6. Oral Sex Isn’t Really Sex

Oral sex is a sexual act. Just because Christian teens are not having sex in the textbook fashion, it is still a sexual act that bonds a man and a woman together.

7. Third Base Isn’t a Big Deal

Third base, also known as “heavy petting,” is a big deal, because it can lead to other things. Not only is it a form of sexual action, but it can lead to sexual intercourse. It is very easy for Christian teens to get caught up in the moment and forget about any desire to stay abstinent. Sin is very tempting, and it does not always come with warning or stop signs. Going to Third Base can be a danger zone.

8. My Will Can Overcome Any Temptation

God’s will can overcome any temptation. If you feel you have the strength alone to conquer any temptation, you are setting yourself up for trouble. Man is known for falling into sin, especially when there is an overconfidence in the self. Christian teens need to keep their eyes on God, and allow God to help set boundaries so they can resist the temptation. The Bible is full of helpful advice when it comes to coping with temptation, and it can be a useful tool.

9. Watching Porn or Masturbating is Less of a Sin Than Having Sex

A lot of people believe that pornography and masturbation are helpful in preventing a person from having sex. However, having sex is not just about the act, but it is about the frame of mind. If you have lust in your heart while you are watching pornographic movies or masturbating, then there is sin there.

10. I’ve Already Had Sex, So It’s Too Late for Me

It is never too late. While the idea of “born-again virgin” may seem a little like “technical virgin,” it is not the same thing. Many Christian teens that have already had sex choose to act as if they have never had sex and vow to wait until marriage. Having sex is not the end of the world. God is very forgiving, and He smiles at those who return to Him with a desire to do His will. While the temptation for someone who has had sex can be even stronger than the virgin, it can be overcome with God’s help. God is waiting 

But hey, it is never too late. God doesn't condemn us, it's our sins that separate us from Him. So 

for everyone out there that struggles with sexual sin, I want to tell you all something that is very serious. You can be new again! You can get your purity back. Never think “just because I’ve gone too far, I can’t get it back.” You can! God is a merciful, forgiving, loving God. Purity isn’t just about not “going too far.” Purity is a lifestyle, a state of mind. You must not only protect your body, but your heart & soul as well. I’ve been there before, I’ve fallen short of the glory. But I’ve learned that if I call on God whole heartedly & ask Him to make me new, He will. God has already forgiven us.

1 Cor. 6:20- You were bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body.

We must forgive ourselves.Once we learn to accept the fact that we’ve fallen short & identify where we need change, to be more Christ like, we can be new again.No more loopholes. No more “well its technically not sex.”

Ephes. 5:3- But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind of impurity, or greed, because these are improper of God’s holy people.

We need to guard our hearts, bodies, & souls. And, teens, the secret is seek God in your lives! Blessed day! :)

People Being Unfair

Applying what I have learned in Com 101. :D

I grew up hearing people say, "The world will never be fair" and unconsciously, I have attracted the idea in my mind. My childhood memories reminded me that, yes, the thought is actually true. However, I had a sudden shift in my beliefs due to my experiences in life.

When you don't like a certain attitude of a person, what would you do? If a friend has offended you, would you frankly tell her/him or, spread the deed to others? I have been a victim of false reports, issues, made up stories (name them all) and, the good news is, until now. Those past experiences I had moved me to change, to use and think of other tactics in dealing with them. Plus, I am also grateful that I have studied Communication 101 when I was still a Mass Comm student. The lessons were practical and applicable in real life scenarios. 

Now let's get in touch to the real matter. Ever wonder why am I talking about fairness here? If in case, your guess is that I was/am a victim of injustice, you are absolutely right. I believe that is undeniably unfair for a person not to know when someone that person is treating well is actually spreading evils about him/her. I personally think, if you have a problem with a friend, you must confront him/her before anything else. I adhere to the belief that, if it's not about you, then you don't have the right to spread the issue. 

Remember, a simple misunderstanding could ruin everything just because you chose to actually destroy the image of the person to others instead of letting him/her explain his/her side and ask for your apology. Remember, words have the power to bring someone down. Remember, when you truly care for a friend, a single mistake won't make you hate him/her right away. Remember, words can only be forgiven but can never be forgotten.

And I was reminded by Sir Paulo Coelho, "Never explain your side to people. They only love to hear what they want to hear" and "If everyone likes you, there must be something wrong."

Oh Barili :3

Barili was great and fun with Dianne, Ingrid and with my Babe! :*

Sweets after we dined at Foodtrip. We visited Dianne's crib and we were offered with lots of sweets. Srsly, I couldn't even finish eating my salad. :o

 The owner of ze house! Thanks Dianne for the frank chikas, food and videoke trip! :>

The tour guide when we went to Tilapia Fishing Spot. Caught one fish. So sad. :(

And tadaaaa! Le babe of mine. Hahaha. No more description available. :*

GROUP PHOTO! SMILE :)

Thanks for the day babe! Till next time. Hope you'll finally meet my whole family. SOON! 

I love you! :*

01.02.13